Top Five Most Irritating Erg Habits

Have you ever been peacefully erging away when suddenly a newcomer selects the rowing machine next to you and proceeds to row, grunt and grimace in a way that completely distracts you from the enjoyment of your own sweat fest?

I think this is more of a rowing-in-the-gym phenomenon than a boat club problem, but still - we'd love to hear the things that really wind you up about fellow rowing machiners.

In the meantime, here's my top five most irritating ergo habits:

1. Canoeing. 

Have you ever had the misfortune to erg next to someone who thinks the Concept 2 - quite often covered in stickers marked 'ROWING MACHINE' - is some sort of land-based canoeing device designed to work their triceps? They waggle the handle, and themselves, from side to side, often only just missing swiping you in the process. And don't get me started on the people who pull the handle over their heads....

2. The Noises.

Those nasal noises that can be heard through your headphones at top volume. Oh, I know you're making an effort - and believe me, if your mom was here, she'd be proud of you - but there's no need.... Admittedly, I'm turning shades of purple on my ergo - but at least I'm going purple QUIETLY.

3. The Chatterers.

Yes - the people who spy you, in solitary rowing machine isolation, and assume you must be interested in starting a conversation. Because, of course, the reason you're sweating your guts out on the torturous machine is because you go to the gym to make friends. Why me, I have to ask? Why not the guy slumped over the bench pull machine? Or that nice looking lady doing her hair while reading a magazine on the recumbent bike?

4. Elbow Wagglers.

Yes, scullers. That could be you. I'm talking about the people who draw their elbows out at the finish, rather than pulling through, thereby sticking their elbows in the ribs of the unfortunate person next to them...

5. Drag-Setting Heavies.

Just because you have the drag setting at 10, and mine's at 6.5 precisely, neither makes you cooler nor fitter than me, ok? Actually, geekily, this really bothers me. I hate to see tiny girls in the gym hurting their backs with the drag setting at 10, literally about to be sucked into the wheel at every stroke, or, even worse, gym instructors putting fresh victims on Concept 2s with the drag setting at 10.

So now you know that you would never like to sit on a rowing machine next to me, how about sharing your pet ergo peeves? And while we're sharing, I'll confess the real reason you don't want to erg next to me - I have a terrible habit of head banging when really 'good' (for head banging) songs come onto my iPod.... unfortunately, there are no mirrors near the Concept 2s in the gym that I go to - so I have yet to be cured of this problem...